an unimpulsive theme
Eshan Rafi

Eshan Rafi is a Pakistani artist and educator mostly situated on the territories of the Haudenosaunee and Mississaugas of New Credit sometimes known as Toronto. They work with their body, analogue cameras, moving images, text, and other things found in the world, frequently in collaborative contexts. They draw inspiration from ancestral knowledges, decolonial frameworks and movements for liberation to open dialogues that foreground possibility. Currently they are a student in the Home Workspace program at Ashkal Alwan in Beirut, Lebanon with support from the Ontario Arts Council. If you would like to view a portfolio of their recent work, please email them at They are in the processing of redoing their website. Thank you!

I ate an entire club sandwich and a salad while sitting in the front seat of the service. We were passing through Salim Salam. The service driver offered me a tissue.


I walked around Clemenceau after dropping Trish off at her hotel. I was trying to get to the corniche. There should be a verb for the act of walking while lost. I got to a place I was unfamiliar with yet it was close to places I was familiar with so it felt a discovery. Finally a service driver picked me up. He dropped me off unceremoniously after several hundred meters because someone else wanted a taxi. It was much more profitable than taking me to Mar Mikhael. I was ejected.


I think a lot about this:
(two hundred dollars an hour)
& how this changes your relationship to money

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An old woman told me which seeds were edible. I followed her around the park for a while. She spoke to me but I didn’t understand. She carried a parasol.

Samira’s sister attached herself to my arm. She didn’t care about personal space. She asked me if I was Bangladeshi. She asked me if I was married. She wore pink-red lipstick. She was ten or twelve. She told me she had a boyfriend.

I ate the clementine I brought with me. It was rotten. I spit it out.

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how do you become someone else

Part 1:
You become their feelings

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thanks for letting me lie in your lap after crying even though it was awkward
thanks for watching stars in the park with me
thanks for going to the bathhouse with me after i told you i had a crush on you over text message and waiting while i went to the fisting room
thanks for spending 13 hours with me during my project 

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since arriving in beirut I have become very good at:

a. burning lentils
b. slamming car doors on my own fingers
c. all of the above

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lahore, raining

here is a picture:

(i didn’t take any pictures)

there is a tree, it appears to be from somewhere else not its surroundings. its growing out of the earth in the middle of a small paved courtyard. there are tables and chairs placed around the tree. the trees branches extend through the lattice ceiling. it is a restaurant. there is music playing, ghazals by faiz, a small red flower falls in my hair. i find it when i get up to go the bathroom. there are scatterings of sunshine. we are drinking tea. it is early afternoon. sehr is wearing my socks. they are maroon with white thread, ankle length.

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achievement number forty three

differentiating between past and future

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j b e i l